Vitamin Deen #8 - Is Spiritual Burn Out a thing?
No one is talking about this, so here's my reflective essay
Salam loves,
I hope you’re all well insha’Allah.
Here’s a little question for you: Have you ever felt like you’re having a spiritual burn out?
I’ve been going through this and it’s honestly one of the strangest but eye opening experiences, so I figured why not share a few of my thoughts with you.
What Does it Look Like?
I should start by saying Alhamdulillah, Allah blessed me with the opportunity of centring my work around Islam and it’s changed my life in so many beautiful ways. It certainly nurtured my imaan and led me to see our deen as a way of life. This brand new outlook felt rejuvenating at first, everything was an opportunity for me to learn and share what I learned.
Lately though, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I don’t feel like I’ve grown much spiritually speaking (that’s also probably the root cause of why I’ve not been creating as much content as I used to) and how I’ve also found myself not doing much to remedy it. This genuinely isn’t because I don’t want to — it’s actually quite the opposite.
Most days I do all my prayers on time because I care to do so only to realise, more often than not, that my mind is anywhere but in the moment, even when I make a point to be focused. I also noticed I repeat the exact same du’a intentionally but without asking for more, that I get excited about certain khutbahs being shared online yet never take time to watch them and that I don’t open my mus’haf as much as I want to yet always feel grateful I get to read at least one verse a day through my work…
It was so confusing because I could sense that my imaan wasn’t on a low, I didn’t feel irritated or unmotivated, but it was almost as if I was paralysed, as if I was stuck in a cycle of doing things that Allah appreciates, that I don’t want to stop doing because they’re important to my peace but doing more seemed really hard — as if I was too tired to reach the next step to make this routine better.
Why Does This Happen?
I’ve been aware of this situation not sitting right with me so I started to wonder why I felt this tension between wanting to do more as a Muslimah and the exhaustion of keeping up with my expectations. I couldn’t find any other word to describe this than spiritual burn out. It might not be the right term to describe all of this but I believe this “I feel stuck” feeling really echoes it.
I had set such high standards for myself that I was bound to fall short at some point. The more I did, the more goals I was setting: only read Islamic books, do more Quran study, add extra prayers, launch new projects for the community, push myself harder because that’s what Allah supposedly expects me to do but also because I assumed leading by example meant doing more, especially when a lot of people on social media, scholars and what not make you feel like that’s the key to be successful as a Muslim. It felt draining, and I ended up not doing any of these things in addition to having to deal with the frustration that came with that.
Whenever you’re facing difficulties in your faith journey, you need to come back to the starting point and ask yourself what your intentions are. It turns out my mind was so cluttered I didn’t notice the state of my heart: while I was still conscious of pleasing Allah Alhamdulillah, I’d also become conscious of feeling worthy of the image people had of me as a Muslimah.
To be honest, I don’t always think I deserve their good perception of me when I’m not doing as much spiritually speaking as I “should”. I spoke before about how some of us feel that way because of their sins, but here it wasn’t about the things I shouldn’t be doing, but rather the additional things I could be doing.
Doing more was therefore a way to reassure myself and avoid this heavy sense of guilt (yup, imposter syndrome at its finest haha!).
Whenever you’re facing difficulties in your faith journey, you need to come back to the starting point and ask yourself what your intentions are.
Many people make it sound like you need to work extremely hard to deserve Allah’s Love. That isn’t something I believe, but it got to me somehow. Consequently, my intentions were alienated. Part of it was still there, as I value His appreciation so much that I want to make sure I honour it sincerely, but most of it was nurtured by ego: the more I would do, the more I would prove myself I wasn’t a fraud. That had become my main motivation subconsciously when it should have been to please Him first, especially for me to get barakah from it all. That’s why my additional deeds were not sustainable and I haven’t been able to move forward with them.
This is from my experience as an Islamic lifestyle content creator but I feel like this reasoning could also be applied to someone who went through a complete shift in their spiritual journey and believe they must live up to that “perfect Muslim” vision at all cost on a very personal level, putting a lot of pressure on themselves, thus constantly trying to achieve more until they can’t. Interestingly, this is a very different case from people who might seem very practising yet are in fact hypocrites, seeking the satisfaction of people over the Creator’s. While it isn’t our judgement to make, it goes to show how valuable it is to question yourself. It just needs to be done in a mindful way.
Truth be told, you don’t always need to prove things to yourself (or to anyone), especially when it comes to acts Allah designed for His praise and for your own good. If He trusts you enough to give you this image and that you genuinely care about honouring it, then it means He loves you and you shouldn't overthink it but instead, be grateful and trust Him back.
Besides, Islam teaches us to strive, yes, but it also teaches us balance. Seeking Ihsan doesn’t mean seeking perfection and Allah told us He didn’t make religion difficult for us so why should it feel that way just because of our nafs?
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also reminded us of this when he said:
“Take up good deeds only as much as you are able, for the best deeds are those done regularly even if they are few.” (Sunan Ibn Majah 4240)
It’s a simple yet powerful reminder that we don’t need to exhaust ourselves to be close to our Creator Subhan’Allah.
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How I’m Learning to Find Balance
Spiritual burnout isn’t about your faith — it is about the way you’re approaching it.
I knew I needed to let go of the idea that doing more equals doing better because pushing too hard can often pull us further away, even in religion. It doesn’t mean you should settle for the minimum, but you shouldn’t minimise the value of the actions you’re doing by the grace of Allah either, even if they’re not as numerous or as big as they could be. One thing I’m trying to do is to note down how I can go back to the simplest things Allah ordered us to do and be really intentional about them, figure out how I can improve so I can then nail the way I do them and move to the next step.
“I needed to let go of the idea that doing more equals doing better because pushing too hard can often pull us further away, even in religion.”
I also give myself permission to take it slow when necessary, because this dunya is a marathon, not a sprint. This was hard at first as I thought taking a break from nurturing my faith meant slacking, that I didn’t know how much time I had left and shouldn’t spend it not trying to do more or contribute to the Ummah, but it really helps you return to your duties with a renewed heart and focus on the quality of your acts of worship. Going back to the examples I mentioned earlier, I started reading novels again after years of not opening one because I thought I needed to optimise every single minute of reading by diving into an Islamic book. At first, I felt guilty and then when I saw how much more enjoyable it was for me to alternate and find the right balance between the two, the feeling went away.
I’m also trying to stop comparing myself to others. I say this a lot, but I have a very conflicting relationship with social media. I love community impact and coming together to grow, but I hate the fitna and unrealistic standards it sets in all aspects of life, including our deen. Therefore, spending less time on social media but also hiding posts/stories of people I love but that don’t make me feel good spiritually speaking, including because of how I can’t relate to their journey, has helped a lot. And don’t get me wrong, I’m aware that some people probably felt the same way about my content — and if that’s your case, please follow my advice haha! On the other hand, keep looking up to people that make you feel seen and like it’s okay to feel it’s a little too much at times.
Finally, and I know that is my biggest challenge, it is so important to know your priorities. As much as I can blame the spiritual burn out for not having grown as much spiritually as I would have liked for the past months, I know a lot of it also has to do with not making more space for what actually counts. Work and contributing to the Ummah, even if related to Islam, come after your relationship with Allah, and when I say that, I mean the two of you exclusively. Sure, you can experience His endless Mercy and Love through feeling useful to others, but make sure that when nobody’s around, you’re actually maintaining that connection and that comes with making space for it.
Overall, reassessing what’s driving my acts of worship, whether it be love and connection or pressure and guilt, learning to show myself some kindness and compassion and remembering that Allah doesn’t expect perfection from me but sincerity and efforts, even if they’re small, has helped tremendously. I wouldn’t say I’m out of this phase completely but I’m trying my best and know Allah sees it Alhamdulillah.
So, if you’re feeling spiritually burnt out, I want you to know it’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad Muslim, and it doesn’t mean your faith is weak. It simply means you’re human. In an age where everyone shares their spiritual routines and goals it’s honestly so easy to feel like you’re falling short, but your relationship with Allah is uniquely yours, and no one else’s journey can or should define it.
This journey isn’t about doing it all at once. It’s about taking small, consistent steps towards Him, with taqwa and balance.
Please let me know your thoughts on this insha’Allah, I’d love hear from you.
Love and du’a,
Assia
I loved reading this piece, I felt so seen! I too experienced a major spiritual burn out a few years ago, because I was trying to do everything at once - an islamic diploma 3 days a week, plus an online islamic psychology degree. I was gaining knowledge at such a fast rate, and doing so much that i didnt have time to reflect and implement what I was learning. And then I burn out spiritually and mentally. It was so hard for me to get out of it, but through it I did learn my limits, and the need for balance. People don't talk enough about this, and social media really does put a strain too! And especially the part when you wrote about having to make every single moment beneficial and productive- so true!!